Disclaimer: This document is based on the pattern observed between creepers and potential predators that come into Fetlife or other networks looking for a piece of ass or toy to break. It is clearly perception-based and not an exact science or one-size-fits-all formula. It is not a foolproof tool, rather a tool that may help guide new fetish community members away from potentially harmful individuals and/or situations.
This is an especially helpful tool for what predators see as “fresh meat” – those who don’t have any partners, Protectors or Mentors clearly listed on their profile.
How it works: Consider the profile of any person on Fetlife or other networks, and see how they score up. Use a pen and paper and add up corresponding points. For each “point” marked it can be counted as a single point. Use the below scoring formula to see if they are a potential creeper or predator. This advice should be taken lightly, and one should always be mindful and express their desires and intentions clearly in every case.
Within their messages:
- Do you get a creepy-crawly feeling when reading their message?
- Does a majority of the message sound like it could be a copy-paste template sent to others?
- Do they ask questions about your appearance even though those questions can be answered by looking at your viewable profile pictures?
- Do they ask questions that are clearly answered within your profile?
- Do they quickly try and encourage you to move to other mediums for communication, such as facebook, Kik, Skype and other vanilla means?
- Did they offer lavish gifts or plane/bus tickets early into conversations?
- Do they offer to relocate closer to you, or ask for you to move closer to them early into getting to know one another?
- Do they state there is “no local community” or appear to avoid a local real-life community?
- Did they send a message that went directly to the topic of sex and/or ownership and/or play?
- Have they requested personal information (phone number, address etc.) within 1-3 initial contacts or correspondences?
- In planning a first meeting, did they suggest a private location such as their house or your own?
Outside their profile:
- Did they send a friend request but no message?
- Can their Fetlife handle or legal name be googled and personal accounts of breach of consent or legal troubles be found?
- Do more than 2 people mention to you that individual may be bad news?
- Are they reluctant to or seem upset at the idea of being closed-loop vetted?
Within their profile:
- Do they have “Master,” “Goddess,” or some other bold title as their handle?
- Do they not have a single person listed atop their profile?
- Is the place they reside in an unknown or lesser-known place?
- Do they have little or nothing about them as a person on their profile?
- Do they have very few or no comments that sound like they came from actual people who know them in real life?
- Are they only a member of the “Fetlife Announcement” group?
- Do they not have any fetishes listed, or very few listed?
- Do their fetish lists clearly lean towards either extreme violent edge-play, or sexual acts (not to be confused with acts of BDSM).
Within their “writings”:
- Is their profile completely devoid of any writings/journal entries?
- Are they nothing but poetry or erotica?
- Do they revolve completely around sex and/or ownership and/or extreme edge-play?
When viewing their pictures:
- Do they not have a single picture on their profile?
- Do they feature primarily pictures of their genitalia or nude body?
- Do they lack any pictures of them out and about at fetish related events?
- Do they have a lot of pictures that are not likely to be them?
- Do they have cartoons, memes, or porn as a majority of their profile images?
- Do they have a lot of pictures of other people’s artwork or various watermarked images they likely don’t own?
When viewing their friends list:
- Are all their listed “friends” people you would guess they are only friends with because they are sexually attracted to them?
- Are they “Master”, “Protector”, “Mentor” etc. of one or more people that clearly live in a different State than them, for no apparent reason?
- Do they state themselves as a “Member of a House” but do not specify what House or have a clear relation to any specific established House?
When viewing their account activity:
- Is it clear that they created their account less than 1 year ago?
- Did they change their account name or handle in the past?
- Did they change their account name or handle more than twice?
- Do they primarily leave crude and tactless comments to pictures on a very frequent basis?
- Do they fail to comment on group posts leading one be believe they don’t even research any of their supposed interests?
0-5 points: May be a decent individual, and there may be no major causes for concern. Still follow through with a closed-loop vetting process and listen to your heart and intuition at all times.
6-15 points: May be a less experienced, or not a very expressive individual. This does not denote they are inherently dangerous, however all should proceed with caution. Follow through with a closed-loop vetting process and listen to your heart and intuition at all times.
16-25 points: Right between socially awkward and a screw or two loose. This individual may be a gamble to engage with further. If you are a gambling person, then follow through with a closed-loop vetting process. Be sure to listen to your heart and intuition at all times.
26-39 points: Not likely to be worth your time or energy. If you really want to, follow through with a closed-loop vetting process. Remain skeptical of their motives, and make your own intentions perfectly clear and have safe-guards in place. Strongly listen to your heart and intuition at all times.
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